October 1st That was my mood today. I felt tired and felt like crying and maybe even giving up on my sobriety. Short thoughts and dealt with by me by changing the narrative in my head — but definitely there. I felt nervousness and mental exhaustion, I think that the…

September 30th There is an old fable — The Ant and the Grasshopper — written about 2600 years ago by Aesop. And today I realized that it is not just a lovely and moralistic fable, but still cutting-edge social commentary relatable to our present age. …

September 28th My inner monologue is rich and interesting, and quite often quite predictable. I surprise myself a lot with my thoughts and analysis and observations. Sometimes it might even turn into a dialogue, but that usually leads nowhere — I know what both sides will say and what arguments…

September 27th From the distance, the fog looks menacing and impenetrable, but when you actually go inside the foggy air — suddenly the immediate surroundings become clear. Only the circular border beyond the closest sighting is still shrouded in fog. There is a mystery and element of a surprise walking…

September 26th It started around 10 am. The incandescent noise coming from every direction was too much for me to cope with. The throbbing in my temples started with an unwelcome but expected punctuality. It was only a Monday mid-morning and I felt tired already. My body was telling me…

September 25th Do I dare to even think about it? It feels wrong and illegal to even think about it. I mean — I am free to make my choices and to live my life according to my values and needs and wants. But I am still a way off…

September 24th When the hell is a good time to talk about things that are wrong and dangerous? Before anything happens? But if nothing happened, then maybe it is not a good time. After a close call? But he surely learned his lessons, so why bring it up now? After…

September 23rd …the whole life can change. I was walking home when my phone rang. It was my mom. I only had time to say “Hi mom” before — Mati had a car crash there was an accident a truck drove into his lane and crashed head-on he was trapped…

September 22nd I am fine! My life is fine and dandy. I cannot imagine a better and more put together and predictable and just solid life than mine right now. Until something happens, and suddenly I can, with this little nagging jealousy that pricks me somewhere inside. I have noticed…