Am I a negative person?

February 22nd, 2023

Am I a negative person? A person who is complaining and bitching and seeing the worst aspect of a given issue? A person who is a catastrophist and pessimist? Or am I only a realist who sees things as they are? And since things are mostly negative and going in the wrong direction, my behavior only reflects it in my thoughts and actions — is that negativity?

I try to be judicial to a fault toward external stimuli and toward my reactions to them. I would rather give a benefit of the doubt to an asshole than call him on it. I try to look and find any extraneous circumstances and give a benefit of the doubt to any untoward behavior. In others, that is — in me I do not accept any justification for anything less than perfection.

Is there anything wrong with that? Is that seen as overwhelming negativity that overshadows my real personality? I refuse to accept the fact that I am negative. It might only seem like that to outside spectators. I feel that I have a strong positive streak in all I do and think and convey to others and in actuality, I have a gift of finding something good in a disaster.

Maybe I am only a bad communicator of myself? Or maybe I mostly communicate or amplify the negative and pay less attention to the positive? Either way, some change is required. I want to check and see with a deeper look if the negativity is more prevalent in me than I let myself on. Am I in reality becoming a person I would loath to be?