Ataraxia

April 12th, 2024

I shouldn't really be surprised that after several quiet and normal and easily managed days, finally a day will come that will test me. I feel very tired and can barely stand on my feet after getting home from work. I feel like my mind stopped providing analysis of the outside stimuli just to save me from being overloaded. I feel like just going through the motions — eat, stay hydrated, don't think or do anything. I know tomorrow I will feel better, but a nagging question has already found a comfortable and expanding niche in my mind — is that all there is to it? is that a normal situation to come home after work without having any energy and with a barely functioning brain? is it going to happen on Monday as well? and on Tuesday after that?

I found a new word by clicking through Wikipedia last evening — ataraxia. It is a philosophical idea that describes a state of being unperturbed by everything there is. Of course, as with all philosophical ideas, there are different schools of thought — does it pertain to being unperturbed in mind, or body, or maybe in both? I don't think I care and I am too tired to think more in-depth about it, and too tired to do any reading about it. I will just let this idea float in my head to settle for a more inviting time. All I know is that is something I want, and I should try to achieve it. By what means I haven't the slightest clue, but that can wait for tomorrow…