Calmness

May 31st, 2023

This is quite strange and unusual, but I decided I will enjoy it — without any regrets or second-guessing. For days, maybe weeks, I feel a wonderfully encompassing, warmly comfortable, and wholesome sense of calmness. There are a few moments of anger and sadness and pity and disillusion and anxiety, but they are fleeting and forgettable. That is unfamiliar to me as well — the ease of letting go, the ease of pushing aside thoughts and emotions caused by intrusive thoughts and observations.

Everything in my life is meshing together — if there is a temporary diminishing of my positive emotions soon after there is an elation from an unlikely source that evens up the equilibrium. Everything stays on the same — calm and fulfilling and safe — level. I don’t rush anything and stay within a steady flow of all aspects of my life. There are even moments of absolute bliss and happiness and I already started to expect them as given. I am well and composed and cool and serene in the face of all the big and small issues in life.

I know that nothing lasts forever and a change is a normal and expected thing to come. That doesn't bother me much. I feel that not many things bother me in general. When something out of the ordinary and unexpectedly unpleasant happens, after a quick analysis of my anger or any other emotion at hand — I let it go after only registering its passing. This is a really good moment in my life. I feel at ease and I know I am going in the right direction. I enjoy this moment in time.