Cold October

October 1st, 2024

It is very cold here at the beginning of October. I am far away from home in a perfectly fine hotel room, but I don't feel any warmth at all being here. I could just be tired, or sick, or a combination of those two things. I don't know… All I know is that I want to be home, where my comfort and my routine is. And everything else is also there. So why would I need to be anywhere else? Somehow, I don't feel very safe being in a hotel room. That is strange and unusual. Yet, I am here and exactly here I will spend the night and tomorrow I will eventually get back home. It will be warmer there no matter what the temperature is outside. I think I miss the warmth. Not just physical, but emotional, and the warmth that comes from knowing your safe place. And your safe people. Here, I am in a perfectly fine hotel room, after a whole day of meetings with perfectly fine people. Yet, I feel uneasy, like today I pretended too much to fit in, or just to be as average as possible. No matter, tomorrow I will be on my way home.