Condescension
September 16th
I hate it. But I guess I still might occasionally do it myself. There was a time when I was habitually condescending toward people in my life, private and public. It was very noticeable, especially at work, when I had a habit of explaining everything like I was talking to children — slowly and easily and step by step with basic directions and simple words. I didn’t trust others to make the right decisions or follow instructions unless they were presented to them, as you would explain to a child why he or she should not be playing in the street with sharp objects without a hat and on an empty stomach. And I was (rightly) hated for it by my co-workers. I caught myself realizing that what I do is wrong and demeaning, and worked on NOT doing that. Am I successful? Definitely not all the time, but I do notice when I go into this habit again and try to stop and rectify it.
I displayed the same behavior toward people in my family and friends and colleagues. Especially in my early twenties, I was sure that I know everything about anything and not only that — but know it much better than anyone else. I was a right annoying and insufferable git. It had to be exhausting to be around me, with me always correcting and explaining why everyone is wrong in their thoughts and likes, and behaviors. I just KNEW better and was extremely virally condescending toward any other way of thinking that wasn’t mine and toward anybody with those views and convictions. Everyone was backward, and only I was properly correct about everything. Then I was put back in my place by people with the same attitude as me, but with more power of persuasion or just louder and more in the face about it than me. And then, being very hurt in the exact way as I hurt others, I turned inwardly and was still condescending, but only silently and privately.
Why am I now writing about it? There is this woman who works in my department who on one hand is very knowledgeable and helpful, but does everything in an extremely condescending matter. Explaining anything, she slows down her speech and speaks in short sentences, showing point by point a course of action. She would make a great childminder or a kindergarten teacher, but in a professional setting, it is just completely out-of-place and very off-putting for me. And now — do I even bring it as a topic of conversation or just slowly stew inside as she again tells someone off in a soft and modulated voice as she would gently scold a rowdy kid who simply doesn’t know any better? And why do I even ask — of course, I will not say anything, because it might lead to an argument or confrontation which in turn might lead to an uncomfortable feeling for me. And that is something I will do my utmost best to avoid.
