Conformity as behavioural training

September 5th, 2023

For months since summer started, all the windows in my house have been wide open. And there is a playground nearby and it is used non-stop by families with young children, so there is always yelling, crying, running, singing and everything else that kids do in the playground. And this hum is constantly filling the air, at least until it gets dark — that is just a normal behaviour expected in cities all over. And I didn't really pay attention to it, it was only something somewhere in the background, until I noticed something that seemed unusual to me —

“Stop it”, “go”, “don’t do it”, “do it”, “go over there”, “don’t go over there”, “play here”, “play with him/her now”, “come here” — and all other varieties of commands and orders.

From the earliest age, our culture and families (as the result of our culture) foster an extreme tendency to conform. There is a widespread suppression of spontaneity and genuine unbridled joy — even when playing in the playground. There seems to be no room for individuality to develop in children when under constant watch and with constant orders from parents — to conform to their idea of conformity. It is no more than a behavioral training from the earliest age to be of the same kind and the same ilk and the same mind as some arbitrary idea of proper behaviour. There is no training or guidance for children to explore and build their indiduality, only exact and set in stone commands. And children quickly learn that it is the proper way to behave, to try to fit into some idea, to someone’s idea, not their own. Honestly, I shouldn't be really surprised — that is exactly how it was when I was growing up and I still try to shake off the shackles that were fitted onto me then.