Don’t you use that tone with me!
January 18th, 2023
A simple primer on how to lose an argument without trying — just use those words: “don’t you use that tone with me!” any time during any dispute and no matter what else happens, you lost. That happened today, I was just a witness but felt very nervous and uncomfortable and the whole scene was mightily cringeworthy anyway. It really didn't matter what was the argument in question, what were the reasons on both sides and in reality there was no tone at all with the person who was admonished this way. Actually, it was louder and more offensive coming from the accusatory side. I guess the only issue here was the fact that the person being chastised dared to present his side of the story and explain his actions point by point. That simply wouldn't do to his superior at work. Once the other person decided he was guilty of something, there was no room for hearing arguments or even trying to understand the other side and not even a polite courtesy of letting him finish, instead just saying:
“don’t you use that tone with me!”
That was the extent of reasoning from the instigator. And that meant that person lost the argument in question. We heard afterward a satisfied retelling of the story that ended with that person who said it, claiming to be in the right and defending the altercation, and rationalizing the situation. Well, no dear — there was nothing rational and correct about what happened. Any discussion and any argument require two sides on a level playing ground with the same rules applying to both sides. When one side arbitrarily changes rules and uses ad-hominem retorts, the discussion is no longer a proper and valid confrontation of ideas and explanations. It is sad that people in positions of power still need to use this kind of behavior for actually what? Spreading fear and preemptively denying any other opportunities for frank discussion, which might occasionally be heated and unpleasant? Well, that might be more pathetic rather than sad. And I guess I shouldn't be surprised that people in positions of power in all walks of life in the majority are pathetic — they just don't stop showing it off every day to everybody everywhere.
