Fake fun and laughter

December 6th, 2022

Oh yes! We are having fun! Everybody is laughing! Someone just said a joke, a poor joke, a joke that should at best get a pitiful chuckle — but now everybody is having so much fun with it and is laughing so hard! Check out this guy — he is so funny! Let's laugh, let's have fun, this is brilliant, look at me having so much fun and laughing so hard!

And then I take a closer look at what is behind this laughter, and I see only sad eyes everywhere behind this fake fun. Why is everyone pretending to laugh and have fun? Why are we latching onto a sliver of something, anything that might be fun and can bring some relief to the dreariness of everyday life? It feels artificial and painfully pretended.

I see it every day with people I am close to or people I spend time with. There is a deep worry underlining all that efforts and actions and thoughts and emotions. Worry about the future, which was supposed to be bright and predictable and now is anything but. Worry about livelihood and caring and providing for their children. Worry about the cost and the toll it takes on mental and physical health.

So, any relief is needed. Even if that relief is brought by fake laughter and pretending to have fun. Even when, in reality we know that this humor is only an imitation of actually feeling well and being joyful. And I do the same, looking for a moment of stupid but funny oblivion. And I did exactly the same today as everybody else. I laughed hard, I cracked some jokes and comments, and I enjoyed the moment of emotionlessness (I think pretending is not an emotion per se, although it might appear emotional).

The deep silence that spread throughout the office after this laughing interlude was loudly saying what was unsaid and left hanging in this uneasy quietness — the worries came back and took a central position in everybody’s minds again.