Fear of thoughts

November 6th, 2023

Our thoughts are of a truly revolutionary nature. Maybe that is why we fear them so much. Maybe this is why we spend hours and days and weeks and months and years and, in total, most of our lives trying to escape them — by filling our time with work and mindless entertainment — and trying to supplant our thoughts with ready-made thoughts presented to us by others, be it politicians or religious figures or media personalities.

We fear thought more than anything else in our lives. Even more than death — because as long we don't think about death, it might not happen…

Our thoughts are subversive and destructive and terrible, and we in general don't want them in our lives. Thoughts can be ruthless to privileged and established institutions and comfortable habits. Thoughts can force us to action, or by our own suppression — to despondency. Our thoughts can be indifferent and anarchic and careless to established societal norms. Thoughts are our own creation, one that can never be taken away from us — unless by our own design. Our thoughts are our own spark of genius, surrounded by an unfathomable depth of darkness and silence.

I do the same as others. There are times when I am afraid to be left alone with my thoughts, so I look for diversions. There is never a lack of other things I can do instead of thinking, so I kid myself that by staying busy I actually am doing something with my time and my life. That doesn't pertain only to the awful, terrible, and terrifying thoughts, it happens as well when I become afraid of good, positive, and euphoric thoughts. Even now — I rather write my thoughts down instead of letting them flow and grow in my mind…