February 10th
Feeling a little better today.
I was able to leave the house — I had to take my dog to a vet. Everything went smoothly and my dog is fine, even thought after recent snow storms walking is extremely difficult and driving is a huge hazard — there is snow and ice everywhere.
Other than that I stayed at home, slept a little, had a normal dinner, even did a load of laundry.
Slowly I am regaining strength to go back to normal life, but there is still this anxiety in me that makes me shiver inside.
Tomorrow I will be back at work, I was able to arrange to work from home for the rest of the week, given the state of me and weather conditions with so much snow and freezing temperatures I think that is the best solution.
I think I am still scared by this panic attack on Monday, it’s not something that I could expect and be ready for it. It’s also possible that it has something to do with my recovery —maybe I just don’t see it… On Saturday I am going for a therapy session with Ada and will discuss it with her.
I am glad and proud of myself that I haven’t given to temptation and drank (that would be the easiest and obvious way to fight that panic attack), that I am still recovering without relapse — that is the most important thing. Every crisis will pass, I need to be strong and remember — “one day at a time” and “it gets easier” — pretty banal phrases but whatever works is fine by me.
