February 24th

I don’t feel well, my mind is somewhere else and occupied by hundreds of bad thoughts. I have to stop myself from getting winded up by negative thoughts. There is no point in worries, but it’s difficult to put my mind at ease.

I have a big decision to make, I don’t want to take it lightly. I know what’s good for me, but I also worry about my future. It’s not easy trying to be strong. I will sleep on it, maybe I will have guts to stand up for myself tomorrow. I want this to be my decision. I don’t want to be forced in to anything by others.

I have huge problems concentrating on my job and doing it right. I mean — I think I do it the right way but at work my opinion doesn’t matter, only what my boss thinks. Sometimes I feel that I need to take a step into the unknown and take it from there. Next couple of days will be interesting.