February 4th

I am dead tired, my mind is like a mulch. Cannot think, cannot talk, cannot write, cannot rest. My work is destroying me and my mind and any happiness I might have. Coming home after day like today gives me no respite. I am angry at myself as well for checking my emails and working after work hours. I promised myself I wouldn’t do it, and I was able not to do it for a long while and now, I'm going back to my old habits.

I have no clue what to do, changing jobs is an obvious thing to do but given current situation and pandemic it’s something very risky. The hard winter is compounding the misery… I need to watch myself carefully not to relapse. I need to rest, even if I don’t do what set to do, so what? I need to rest…