Finally getting an explanation
January 8th, 2025
More than a year ago, in October 2023 to be exact, I was asked an unusual question — “As someone who doesn't drink, do you feel superior to those who do?”. It was an unexpected and confusing question. Of course, my immediate answer was “No, I don't, why would I?”. And the answer was true then as it is now. I don't feel superior to anybody going by this metric. What was strange was who that question came from — it was one of the managers at my new work, a successful, popular, influential, well-spoken, and attractive woman. I might have had a crush on her but that is neither here nor there — or is it? That might require some additional thoughts…
Anyway, I took that question as a sign of serious insecurity from someone who appeared very secure in herself. Appeared, since as I found out today it was only a false persona on display. I never had many interactions with her since then, no more than what was required from a professional standpoint, or making-cofee-together-in-the-lunch-room standpoint. Yet, that question was coming back to me once in a while. I was sure of my answer, but still unsure of the intention beyond her asking me that. Today I found an explanation for that. Today she was fired and asked to leave immediately. Of course, we were shocked by the unexpected abruptness of it, but then the rumors started. Or maybe just some office gossip — as I found out, I was pretty much the only one who didn't know that she struggled with substance abuse. And that was known not only in our office but in headquarters as well. She was asked to undergo therapy, to do something about her addiction but she refused, so then today she was fired. She had a very sensitive position with the company so that might not be so shocking why it happened. And that provided me with an explanation for the nature of her question from October 2023 — I had no idea that underneath her solid and successful facade, she was struggling with addiction and self-esteem and was painfully insecure. I hope for the best for her. Sometimes only option for sobriety is to get to the bottom first.
