Foglights

December 19th, 2023

The last part of my bi-weekly drive there is always challenging — it is a 5 kilometer drive through the deep and untouched forest on a winding and narrow road. But when it is dark at 3 pm and it is raining heavily, it makes it even more difficult. And as I was driving, I realized that my view through the windshield was blurred and lacked normal sharpness. I turned on my foglights and there it was — the fog, unseen and undefined in the surrounding darkness. The foglights really didn’t help that much, maybe a few more meters were visible in the wall of fog in front of me. But since I could see the fog in the foglights, I knew to slow down and pay more attention to the road and keep both hands on the wheel, unlike my normal driving habit.

On my way back the fog was even thicker and more menacing, and that reminded me of something. That reminded me of my therapy, which I was (coincidentally or not) coming from. Therapy by itself doesn't solve any of my problems, but it shines light on the fog of issues and problems I have with myself. It tells me that there are problems around me and in me, especially that there are problems that I don’t see at all myself— mostly because of the routine way my life is going on. Therapy gives me warning before anything happens — be careful, tread gently and watch your step and your actions and your emotions. Therapy tells me that there is fog surrounding me in the darkness, or enveloping me in the darkness per se. Therapy, just like fog lights, provides a signal to slow down and to pay more attention to what is going on. It might expand my view by a short distance, but the driver making the ultimate decision is (in both cases) always me.