Headache
October 15th
All clear for me, no need for quarantine — and it is a shame that I couldn’t stay and work from home. Back in the office, this morning talk between coworkers turned to the fact that it is Friday and the weekend is finally coming. And EVERYBODY was talking about drinking — how they will get wasted this weekend, what they already have bought to drink over the weekend, what kind of alcohol they have chilled in the fridge, what kind of beers and what kind of spirits….
Pathetic and disgusting. Don’t they feel any shame publicly discussing that? Why loudly talk about getting drunk and wasting the weekend? What good can come from getting drunk? Well — obviously nothing except humiliation of the morning after. Everybody was talking about how they need it to relax and forget about life for a while (doesn’t Billy Joel has a song with those lyrics?). That is so pitiful that they don’t have anything else to fill the emptiness of their lives and nothing else to reduce stress than binge drinking. And my coworkers are professional people, between their late 20s — late 30s, with spouses and children.
I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on them since I was like that myself — except I always felt a shame about my drinking and never discussed it publicly and loudly. That was my personal problem and my drinking was most of the time solitary. I guess in some ways it is sad (and even rather repulsive I might say) how socially accepted is altering consciousness with alcohol to feel better or relieved or maybe to feel something (to feel anything, even if that is the pain of hangover?).
Now I have a splitting headache because of all that loud discussion that really bothered me. And mostly that headache is caused by this subject that I feel has no place in an office, in a professional setting. That is not a good start for my weekend but at least I know that I WILL NOT DRINK any alcohol this weekend and ever again!
With that, I feel a little better, even kind of superior now. But in all honesty — there is still some jealousy inside me that I fear might be causing all that is happening in my head. No matter — I will be sober and fine and as smug as I want to be. I earned it.
