I had to turn back…

November 4th, 2023

The first order of business — to find a good stick. And, as always, it took me no more than a minute or two to find a good stick. Good, heavy stick. A stick about my height, with a good grip for using it as a walking stick. And, of course, as a fighting/defending stick whenever the need arises (it never did so far, mind). And that stick was broken in a way that left a sharp splinter at the bottom, so that was an extra reassurance.

When I am alone hiking in a forest that is unknown to me, I always look for a stick like that. That stick gives me the courage to go into places I might not be supposed to go. And that was the story today. There is a forest, dark and cold and marshy and wet forest near where I live. The main pathway and the walkway over the wetlands in this forest have been closed for repairs for two years, but today I decided to go there anyway. Having that stick was the utmost necessity to even take the first step inside.

With each step deeper into this forest, I felt creeping dread coming over me. There are times when I suffer from unexplainable dread — but it is a dread from within. Today — it was dread from without. The forest felt sinister, unwelcoming to a solitary hiker. The trees looked like they were caught by me in some kind of dance and frozen in convulsions of a dark and primordial ritual. The air was heavy with the scent of some tragedy that happened there once. I felt like I was intruding on some devilish ceremony taking place there. That is a kind of a silly thought — I know that witches hold their covents in this forest, but that happens at night, and only on specific nights and I was there mid-morning. No matter what, I felt I couldn't spend any more time there. I felt uneasy and was scared. I turned around and walked back, constantly looking behind me to make sure I wasn’t followed. I wasn't but I am sure I was being watched carefully.