I wasn’t quite sure

Even yesterday, after I packed and did online check-in, I wasn’t sure if I am going to do it. Even after waking up at 4 am to get ready to go to the airport, I wasn’t sure if that is a good idea. Even while driving there in the driving rain, I still thought that might just turn around and go back home. Go back home to wallow in self-pity and self-induced misery. That actually sounded like something I might do to spite myself.

But I didn’t. And while waiting at the airport, I already started to feel a changed mood in my head. There was a curiosity that I haven’t experienced in a long while. There was excitement again bubbling in me so much, I couldn’t sit down. And as soon as the wheels left the ground, I couldn’t contain my happiness.

I decided to spend 5 days in Budapest, the city that I haven’t visited in more than 30 years. The city is bustling and chaotic from what I’ve seen in the five hours this afternoon just walking around without any plan or a schedule. But that is ok, I like to discover the way cities work and live. I already feel comfortable finding myself in a geographical sense there. I don’t need to look at the map, I already feel myself knowing where I am going.

And there is this thought, extremely strongly wedged inside my head — this is it, this is what I can do very often. This is what I need, what I want, and what makes me happy. Traveling that is. And how am I supposed to go about it now with all uncertainties around me, my health, my job, and the geopolitical situation? I will figure something out, that much I know. This is again a reminder of what makes me happy. And I want to be happy in what I do in my life.