Impatience

December 11th, 2023

It is been four days since I got sick and I am sick of it. Completely and thoroughly sick of it. I have been doing exactly everything as the doctors said — taking all the required medications at the correct times, staying hydrated and well fed, resting and trying to sleep as much as possible and staying warm at all times. And I am still sick the same way as I was four days ago. There might be a slight change in my fever — it went down, but there is an increase of a lot of different pains all over my body. And I am getting sick of being at home at all times, which is strange, since I love being at home and minding my own business and enjoying doing this and that, or not doing anything. The problem is that I cannot read or write or listen for any extended periods of time, since my attention span has become nonexisting during my illness. There were even times when I struggled to keep myself occupied — in any way, not with anything actually meaningful. But slowly, I find things to do to occupy my time and not go crazy — and that is a good thing. The problem with that is my terrible impatience and internal desire to get some exercise or do something with more meaning than watching videos. That is curious, since over the last few years, I have seen myself being patient with all I’ve done. I had no problem waiting for things to come to maturity and then happen. I want to be well and go back to my normal life and my routine…