Inconvenience

November 13th, 2024

I had plans and was going about them when I was suddenly inconvenienced. I had to change what I was doing and adjust my plans, which meant I would have to leave my home in the evening to accomplish what I was supposed to do. It was a small and unforeseen inconvenience, but as I realized what was happening I felt a strong weight setting in my stomach and quite unpleasant distress coming all over me. That was strange and I immediately went into self-blame mode. I was quickly able to blame myself for the need to change my plans, since I should have known better and I should have been predicting better what could happen but haven't just yet. I should have been better in expecting a possible inconvenience and have been more proactive so I wouldn't have to change my plans. All that was very weird. I should be better than that. Things happen and plans can be changed because something happens or does not happen. Yet, I was able to make it all about myself and the plans that I had to change and the personal inconvenience that I just suffered. I know that it is unusual to be that kind of emotional, and that kind of precious person. Well, that's how I am. I don't think I am even too bothered to change any of that. And it might have been better (and quicker and more convenient) for me to just go and do what I was supposed to do and forget the whole situation instead of sitting on my ass bitching about it to someone else…