Inner child
April 13th
Squirrels and frogs were going crazy today as I went for a midday walk in my forest. Well, not together — I don’t think they are capable of understanding the concept of different species. But first, right after I went in between the trees, there were several pairs of squirrels chasing each other on and around the trees. I guess that is the time for their mating dance. I was able to get very close to them, but as soon I tried to lift my hand and take a photo, they would scatter around and start the chase on the next tree. And with the frogs — I could hear them croak from the distance, but as soon I got within the seeing distance, they would jump back into the ponds and stay there without any motion. Well, two can play this game. After I stood there without moving for 5 minutes, they started to come up with more of the loud croaking. And as soon as they detected my slight movement — back to the safety of the water they went.
It was a short walk by distance, but quite a long time spent there in the forest. Most of the time I wasn’t even walking, I just stood still or tried to be stealthy and motionless, so I could see those animals play without much of a disturbance. I had so much fun just watching them up close and trying to outsmart them, so I could take a good photo. The lack of a good photo here tells me that I wasn’t successful (or smarter). But I was successful in remembering the fun I used to have on my hikes and explorations of nature when I was a child. I still got it — the ease of recalling the inner child in me. And to behave as one, even though I will be 48 in a couple of days.
Come to think of it, over the last few days, I had some instances when the inner child in me took over. On my previous walk, I found a bitching stick. A branch that is of the right shape and height and balance to be made into a walking stick. I already have several sticks that I can use as support on my walks (and something that I can use to defend myself if there will be a need). But this one is simply perfect. I already put it in a proper place, so it can dry a little. And I bought some epoxy that I will use to give it color and make it virtually indestructible. Child’s play, but it makes me happy, so I don’t care.
And yesterday, my mom told me that she is proud of me, that she loves me, and that she is so happy with who I am since I stopped drinking. I saw love and joy in her eyes as she said it, and immediately I felt like a small child that just knows that it can always count on the pure and encompassing love of a mother. A child that’s done well and will remember that moment and try to be as good in the future for more of this happiness…
I could write some more, but it is becoming difficult with tears of joy in my eyes. I hope I will never lose this childish innocence and playfulness in me, no matter what my age is.
