July 2nd

I am much calmer today. Calmer or resigned? Doesn’t matter — anyway I don’t particularly care one way or the other. I’ll do what I can today and at 3 pm sharp I will turn off my laptop and work cell phone and will not think about work for the next 16 days. My time off is scheduled pretty well and I hope not only to rest and to see new places but also to have time for some deep thinking about my future. I want to make some decisions about where I would see myself in the next couple of years. Mostly it will be about my future at my current job. I don’t like my company, and also I don’t want to continue my work in the corporate world. But else can I do? What new path can I take? And it is not just a possible change of my work career, I need to be careful about any changes from a financial standpoint — I am becoming more and more demanding of my comfort and leisure as I am getting older and I like the money I make working for a corporation. On the other hand, the job I do now is destroying my health and having a very negative impact on my mental comfort. All that can have a serious impact on my recovery and I don’t want to risk all I already accomplished with my life since I stopped drinking. I already made a huge change in my life and I am not afraid to change it again. This time I want to be in control of that change and not to be forced to make it by circumstances.