Little pleasure of stability

January 3rd

I am back at work after ten days off for holidays and surprisingly I feel fine about it. It was a very good thing for me that I was able to cut off any thinking about work for that time and only thought about it last evening.

That is another new and positive development for me — for years I wasn’t able to completely leave work even when on holidays or days off. This time from the moment I logged off on the 23rd of December my mind was occupied by many different things but work wasn’t one of them.

There is a soothing hum and dim of people talking, rhythmic clicking of keyboard keys, there is some NOT intrusive music in the background. Even the sound of a printer that awakens a couple of times a day is pleasant and reassuring.

I am quite happy to be back in the office and see and talk to my coworkers. I think I missed them a little. Everybody is still smiling and not as loud as they occasionally can be. This is my stability, something that I know I can look towards every day — for better or worse. I am not under any illusion — today is a fine day but there will be a lot of loud, hurried, and nervous days in the near future. But for now, I feel good about my place here and about the people around me. That is good enough for a fine (and unexpected) day today.