Live with it
September 8th
Simple words and I will have to do just that. I got a diagnosis today — it was kind of expected — a degenerative disease of the spine with C5-C6 disc compromised. What is strange is that I never felt more energetic and strong and active than I do now. Ok, maybe I did as a teenager, but then everyone is very physically active as a teen. But today, after many years of inactivity and shunning physical exercise, I am back to really and deeply caring for my body and that diagnosis didn't sit well with me.
There was a time between when I was 18 to 30 years old when being active was out of the question for me for a very simple reason — I was doing manual labor (roofer, construction worker, house painter, and warehouse worker, and probably some others as well) for living. Then, after a shift at work, all wanted was to sit down or lay down in comfort. And that heavy manual labor is definitely one of the reasons for my current predicament. Of course, then I felt invincible and didn't care for any future health problems I might have.
After I turned 30, I moved on to office work. And that is not optimal for posture and spine as well. 8 hours, day after day in a chair staring at the computer screen, can wreak havoc on vertebrae. Of course, I had time after work to do something about exercising, but for the next 15 years, I was too busy for any physical activity since I was drinking myself to death. That changed within the last two years since I started substance abuse therapy and my abstinence.
But the damage was done.
Today, my doctor after seeing my face assured me that it is not the end of the world. I can still be active, but I will need physical rehab and I need to change some of my habits — like sleeping on my left side. People live with it long and fulfilling lives, and there is nothing to stop me from doing the same. Of course, as years will go by, my physical activity and my strength will diminish more than they would with a healthy backbone. I need to be even more careful about simple things like my posture when I am in bed, or while I sit in a chair at work or at home. I will need to start stretching exercises and stick with them. Then there are pills and injections to be taken as the last resort — I will not go this route unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. So I will live within and with those limitations and will make the best of it. I plan on still doing a lot of things in my life and will adjust my lifestyle and do everything necessary to be active and without pain.
I cannot stop feeling a little betrayed by my body, though. I guess that is what it means to be getting old.
