March 16th

One day.

Not even 24 hours since my mental exhaustion and breakdown.

One day can make such a difference in my emotions and mood.

I had a planned day off work today. As I prepared the night before, I went to check several cars that I was interested in to buy. Well, I didn’t find any car that could sway me from my decision to buy a Ford C-Max. Potentially, a Škoda Octavia station wagon can be my back-up plan, but for now I am sticking with buying a Ford. Sun was shinning, I can feel the spring being just around the corner. Unexpectedly, I also had two initial job interviews (by phone). So my job search finally start to pay off. Both interviews went fine, in both cases that just a first part of recruitment process, so I won’t be getting too exited. But the fact that companies are starting to call me is a huge boost to my self-esteem and gives me a lot of energy, a lot of power. It’s good to know that my CV at least opened the doors for a potential new job. I will continue to send more CVs of course, and will see what options I’ll get.

That was all needed for my mood to change. To have this boost to my ego was enough for me to feel energetic and hopeful. That and the beautiful sunshine that we had today in north-east Poland. And the fact that I didn’t have to work today (wink, wink).

I feel excellent, even though I still have some unresolved issues with a potential relationship with Ela, situation with buying a car (nagging thoughts if I am making a right decision) and of course situation that tomorrow I will have to go back to work (albeit work from home again). I feel good, I feel strong, I feel adult-like, I feel in better control of things around me. And I can appreciate all this even more by being sober. Through all that I see good reasons for and potential rewards in my fight with an addiction. It’s all worth it! Just to remember —

One day at the time.