May 14th
An hour of physical activity makes so much of a difference. I am active — I walk a lot (average over 12000 steps per day this year, and I had an average of 16000 steps a day last year). I ride my bike more and more, I started lifting weights (only 30 min once or twice a week so far, but it is a good start for me since I hate weights). I work in the garden a lot since spring started. But today I did heavy physical work. I rented a waste container (5 cubic meters which might not be enough I think now), and started getting rid of all the garbage from the outbuilding. Tomorrow I have a guy coming to help, but I already started today. I only cleared the area behind the outbuilding, took me an hour. It was old, nasty, dirty stuff I put there years ago. It was moldy, dusty and bugs were crawling underneath when I lifted it. Then I had to carry it about 20 meters to a container — I think I took about 20 round trips like that today. It was only an hour if work, but I can feel so much difference in me and my mood. Even though I feel a little tired, I am full of energy. Not only physical energy but mental as well. That exertion was all it took for my brain to function differently. I don’t feel the exhaustion that I usually feel on Fridays. I am fine and good and looking for more heavy work tomorrow (BTW — I still had energy to clean the whole house).
As a teenager as was an athlete. I played all the sports in elementary school and high school — soccer, basketball, volleyball, handball, cross-country running. I swam twice a week, rode my bike everywhere. I had unlimited stamina and energy. And I was very good at sports, had a perfect hand-eye coordination and understanding of tactics and team work. For 5 years (12 to 17 years old) I was on the books for the junior teams for my local football and basketball clubs. I loved practices (even when I had them twice a day), trips to the away games, going to summer and winter sports camps, and mostly I loved to play. That’s where I could show my ability, where I could show how good I am, how I can dominate other players and teams. I could show that I am somebody, too bad I could do it only on the field or in the gym (I suffered from depression and very low self-esteem otherwise).
I miss that athletic, powerful dedicated and coordinated myself. I know I am not teen anymore, but I feel I can still get in a better shape I am now, get better stamina and metabolism. It doesn’t matter that I am 47 years old. Any physical activity now is a way of changing my body and giving my mind very needed adrenaline. Even exhaustion after that is pleasant and sweet.
