May 26th

One of those days…

I just want to log off, and take a nap or go for a walk. And I cannot — I have to wait until 3 pm for information pertaining to my work, and a decision from management if we want to continue a particular project. Our supplier was able to find material that we need, was gracious enough to wait for our decision longer than needed, and in the end, our managers cannot make a simple choice. Again I was asked if I can talk to the supplier to postpone a deadline and this time I said — NO, we need to know today. And now there is this huffing and puffing that there is not enough time, it’s too complicated to just say “yes” or “no” like that….

Yep, one of those days when I truly hate working for the corporation and wonder about my future, not only at my current job but also (I guess even mostly) in the corporate world per se. What bothers me is so much unnecessary talking, unnecessary meetings (when an email with a decision would do). People who love the sound of their voice and don’t want to let others speak even if what they say is mostly garbage filler and/or platitudes. One-upmanship, need to always have the last word. Lack of respect for work and time of others — of course only for those in positions below management. Lack of clear direction and clear rules and clear recommendations. Even when making a decision — putting it in the words that can be interpeted both ways, in case it is a wrong decision. Looking for ways to put down and belittle other people and other departaments. Being forced to do stupid, unneeded work when I know that it will bring any results — just so my manager can say and show that we actually tried something. Looking for mistakes from others and looking for any ways to cover our ass…

I hate all that, and yet I am still doing it. I don’t think I can make a decision to leave it completely just now. And it is not only about finding a new job, mostly it is about being ready for a complete life change and deciding if I am ready for a change of a comfortable lifestyle I have now.

I am very close to that decision, and days like today only make my resolve stronger.