Mind/body equilibrium
February 25th, 2023
Call me Mr. Obvious. Again, I came into possession of knowledge that is common and conspicuous, but for me, it was a new discovery (or re-discovery). That recently happens quite often for me, or maybe I just am getting better at noticing patterns and assimilating the analysis of the said patterns into my life so — depending on their value for me — they will keep repeating or will not keep happening again.
I was sick for at least two weeks, maybe even longer. I knew so much. But there was no pain at all in my body, there was only a slight fever once in a while, some light coughing and that was it. But yet, I felt tremendously tired and beaten down and lethargic all the time. That had a nasty side-effect on my mind — I was getting depressed and nervous and angry. My concentration was shot, my train of thought not existing or veering into some disturbingly dark territory. It was awful.
And I didn't do anything about it since there was no obvious symptom pointing to this or that illness. I kept explaining this situation to myself that I was simply tired. After long months of winter, with a lot of stress in my life, my body needed a rest. But resting didn't work, no matter how much I provided it for my body. And my mind wasn't getting any rest anyway — it was already in a dark place and I tried to keep up my routine going so it wouldn't slip even deeper into darkness.
Finally, last week I went to the doctor. And I have no problem going to medical professionals, but I need a reason to do so. Constant tiredness and nervousness weren't for me good reasons to see a doctor until I didn't see any other option for getting better. Self-administered self-care wasn't working. I went through complete blood testing and voila — it was easily discovered that I had a lingering internal infection that can be treated with antibiotics. And it only took three days for my body to respond — I could feel my body for what it is, some creaks here and there fitting my age, but that overwhelming fog of tiredness was gone. I felt it physically lifting from my body and I felt like a whole me again. That was enough for my mind to clear — I felt energetic and resourceful and with strong resolve and focused and calm. Again and finally! All that happened within a couple of hours, and I consciously felt it happening. The relief is tremendous now. And the lesson is learned as well — if on first instinct I realize that something is wrong with my body and my health, then a visit to a doctor cannot wait until the illness spreads into my emotional state and into my mood. And there is no such thing as a too-insignificant reason to get help from a professional.
