Mirrors and emotions

November 11th

“Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.”

― Jorge Luis Borges, “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius”

After writing a post yesterday, I remembered a quote above about the mirrors from Borges. I remembered that when I read it for the first time, it had a strange and powerful influence on my emotional state. It still does. Thirteen words, just normal words put together in a way that sends a shiver down my spine. Thirteen words written by an amazing writer but still flesh and bones human in a way that creates an unearthly feeling. Simple words, but in this sentence there is something sinister, something that is beyond this mortal world, something ethereal and felt not in the mind but by deep emotions.

And that is what I am looking for. And I’ve been looking for it since I learned conscious thoughts. I had a detour (for 10 or so years) in that venture when my mind and body and feelings were enslaved by my addiction. I got it back now. Be it a sentence in a book, a line in a poem, a sound a note a harmony in a song, a painting or work of art, a view of nature in a particular time of a day, a tree in a forest, a smell that lets me travel back in time…

Something that makes me tremble inside before the beauty and variety of human and nature endeavor. That something that is indescribable. That something that can only be felt emotionally. That something more and above the mere understanding.

Those fleeting moments of griping and raw emotions are my reward for my sober life.