Moving crowd

May 13th

The crowd was floating.
The crowd was moving in waves.
The crowd was carrying me between every person purposely walking forward.
Everyone was moving in a different direction, but always forward.
No one was moving backward, that would be silly.
Everyone was trying to be the first, where were they going.
Everyone with every step was going for an award.
An award of a prize for being better than everyone else.
I could judge everyone in a moving crowd in an instant.
I could tell everything about everyone just from the way they looked.
I could judge everyone, and I did.
Except I couldn’t judge what was inside them, but that wasn’t important.
The movement was important.
Always moving.
Always forward, with glazed eyes looking for the future.
Forgoing the present, looking for something better that is surely forthcoming.

I stepped off of the maddening rush.
This time, it was a conscious decision.
This time, I was in control of what I was doing.
This time, I was in control of where and how I will be going.
Even if it would mean going against the crowd or against the grain.
The grain of expectation and conformity.
Toward a still undefined goal.
A goal I will find when I will get there.