Not following with a plan

May 23rd

That is exactly what I did last weekend. I plan for some physical exercise on Saturday and Sunday every weekend — be it working in the garden, biking, kayaking, hiking or just having a long walk around the city. Something for physical exertion and exhaustion. This weekend the weather was awful, it was raining all the time with high winds that created squall conditions. Being outside was just awful, and I avoided it. But I felt some unneeded nervousness, even some winding up for no real reason.

I still did a lot over the weekend — extra thorough house cleaning, some shopping, some meetings, some visiting, some reading, and some listening to music. And there was also a lot of eating. My brother came suddenly for a visit and my mom arranged for two family dinners. The food was amazing (as always) and there was a lot of it. So I ate and ate. I did enjoy it, but today I feel out of sorts. And I also noticed that I slept really badly this weekend, when usually on Saturday and Sunday I sleep like a log.

The only difference between this weekend and the other weekends was the lack of any physical exercise. And the weather was only a convenient excuse. I don’t see any problems with being lazy during the weekend. But some exercise is necessary for me — and the lack of it made me somewhat jittery over the weekend and bloated and disappointed at myself today. And if I could fit some exercise even during the coldest and darkest winter, some rain shouldn’t be a problem.

That was my plan as a part of self-care in my therapy. Not overextending myself, not risking an injury or uncomfortableness, but at least just some vigorous walking. And that would do just fine this weekend, like it did all the previous weekends over the last two years. SO, that is another lesson for the future — if it works, don’t change it. Or have an alternative. And physical exercise is always beneficial and without it (even if just for a couple of days) I definitely don’t feel myself.