November 14th

Another normal day. I woke up at 6 am, felt lethargic and sleepy. After breakfast, I went back to bed, felt disappointed that I have no energy to do anything. Around 9 am I forced myself to start cleaning the house, I did full housecleaning — dusting, bathroom, washed all the floors, felt satisfied that even though I didn't want to do it, I did what needed to be done and what I planned before.

After that quick walk to do some shopping and went to mom. I felt frustrated that I could do any work in the garden that I planned — it’s been raining for days and everything is wet, there is no way to do anything there now. I and mom went for a walk with the dog Frank to the local woods. On one hand, it was difficult, any walk with Frank is — he is not easy to control, always darting one way or the other, pulling forward and stopping, it feels like work, not pleasure. On the other, mom was very happy to get out of the house where she is staying 99% of the time since the lockdown. I felt normal, with no real changes in my emotions and feelings.

After dinner, I went home, didn't really do anything special. I spend some time on the internet, watch “Prometheus” again, felt uneasy that even though I’ve seen this movie before I couldn't remember a lot of it — I guess I was drunk when I watched it for the first time. I am sure that there is a lot of movies, books, and music that I will have to rewatch, reread and relisten — being sober gives me a completely new way of seeing things and actually remembering them. I feel glad that I will be able to rediscover so many things again being sober.

Saturday was again emotionally stable, I was a little lazy but I feel fine with it. Affirmations: I am obligatory, I am very good with animals.

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footsteps of the Furies

footsteps of the Furies

“for they knew what sort of noise it was; they recognize, by now, the footsteps of the Furies”. Enjoying life on the road to recovery. Observing and writing.