November 17th

Short entry today because I am very tired. I felt tired all day, took me at least 30 minutes to get going in the morning. A lot of work today, I felt glad that I was able to finish all I had to do. I am caught up with my work, now back to the everyday grind. I went to Sokółka in the afternoon for my therapy with Ada, fell asleep on the bus, almost missed my stop. My tiredness makes me worried about my health. Before therapy I had a nice talk with Diana, Krzysiek, Daniel, and Karol — only they and Arek are left from my therapy group, I felt joyful seeing and talking to them.

Therapy with Ada went fine, I felt at ease and happy. I see that I really need it for a foreseeable future — to be able to talk about my concerns with a professional. There was one moment when I felt uncomfortable — when I mentioned that I am keeping in touch with Marta, Jola’s ex. I wasn't expecting this reaction from Ada, I will keep talking to Marta since she is also a recovering alcoholic and I know I might need her help down the line. I don't know why Ada reacted this way, I should have asked for more explanation from her. I understand she might have concerns but I don't see a friendship with Marta as something bad. I made my peace with Jola and her actions towards me, I don't mind Marta being around. Curiously Ada quickly changed a subject to something else, again I didn't ask why and what was going on — now I feel a little disappointed in myself. But overall I consider that it was a good day anyway for me. No winding-up myself, no negative thoughts, no alcohol cravings, I feel stable and strong.