November 2nd

HOME!!!!! AT LAST!!!!, I am so happy, and I am now and forever will be grateful to Przystań Addiction Therapy Facility in Sokółka and their wonderful staff — especially Ada and Anna G and Anna Sz and Adam and Halina and Marcelina and Alicja! Thank You!

Now below is my “farewell to alcohol letter”:

You were, are, and will be pure evil, you were my destruction, my disaster, and abjection. Even when a long time ago you gave me something, you then took what I had by a hundredfold. You were my defeat, you made my life a tragedy and disaster — but that wasn’t enough for you — you had to get my closest relatives as well, not by your, but my own doing. It wasn’t enough for you that I was struggling and suffering — you wanted my closest relatives to suffer too. You were getting satiated on my pain and suffering but you wanted even more — you wanted whole me, and my soul. For a moment of illusory happiness, you took away my ability to determine my life and took away my self-confidence, you left me as an empty husk of a man. Maybe not even a man, you had so much power over me that because of you I wasn't able to be with my dying wife at her last moments, you took away my humanity and self-respect. All you left was emptiness and ruined me — your slave.

But you know what? Look at me now — I didn't give up, I stood back up, I can again look at myself in the mirror without shame, you see — I did it! I again believe in myself, I can still do so many things in my life, I can help not only myself but also others. I regained HOPE! I am strong and calm again, I can plan my sober life, I can still do so much, I have so much to offer! I again can be happy and again I can enjoy life! You see — I don't need you, you are nothing, at most you were a ballast that only slowed me down. I got rid of you yoke, I got rid of your control over me, I don't want to think about you ever again. You are not even worth my anger toward you — you are pitiful. I forgive and forget about you forever, we will never meet again!

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footsteps of the Furies

“for they knew what sort of noise it was; they recognize, by now, the footsteps of the Furies”. Enjoying life on the road to recovery. Observing and writing.