Once I get going…
August 3rd, 2024
I noticed an interesting pattern — once I get going there is no stopping me. I might take a while to actually get going in the first place, but once I am in motion (literally and figuratively), then you better look out because I am coming. Even today on my bike ride — it took me about half an hour and 10 kilometers to get into the rhythm and good cadence, but once I did, I felt like I could go on until the evening. The same way on Friday at work, I was sluggish and tired in the morning, but once I got into the whirlwind of all I needed to do, there was no stopping me. I guess that is a good thing, especially in long-term matters in my life. I don't give up easily anymore. I don't give up at all on things I start. If I see something in what I do — progress, or pleasure, or goal, or joy — I just keep going until that becomes my routine. I don't get discouraged if I don't see immediate gratification. If it makes sense — I will continue.
That can be a problem as well. Once I get going, I don't know exactly how and when to slow down when there is a need to do so. Like yesterday, after running like hell and taking care of everything I needed at work, I just couldn't slow down when I got home. I would start doing this and then that, or try to do several things at once. In the end, I had all things started in the open, and I couldn't finish any of them. What is worse, I couldn't concentrate on anything I was doing and I would just switch from doing one thing to another. In the evening I felt very tired from all that. I was aware of what was happening, but I seemed unable to slow down, or take a deep breath and gather my wits. Only today do I feel finally in the right rhythm, where I concentrate and do one thing, and then move on to the next. Or not move — but just relax, doing nothing. I want to find a way to be able to just shrug off the fast pace of everyday life and move on with my private life in a way I want to. It still seems very difficult for me to let go of what I do professionally and not carry it into my private life. That is detrimental to my well-being and my ability to enjoy my time off and my weekends.
