Personal voice

November 26th, 2023

Do you have one? Your personal voice that makes you stand out from among others? I think it is possible that everyone has one, but the majority of people hide it well behind the facade of mediocracy and laziness and ill-conceived meekness and prevalent shame of social judgment. They rather just regurgitate the opinions and words of others as they own, usually assuming other voices as their own. And that is a shame…

I was in the exact same position for many years, decades even. My voice was there, always there, but safely hidden behind the wall of indifferent platitudes. I think I was afraid of my own voice. I was ashamed of my voice so much that I created an elaborate lie in my mind convincing myself that my voice was so precious that the masses did not deserve to hear it —

They couldn't possibly understand my voice and I will deflect their expected rejection by denying them the opportunity to do so by not letting my voice out in the open.

I believed I was doing the right thing, keeping my voice to myself and thus not letting myself be hurt. But in doing so, I lost a way of expressing my own personality. I wasn't complaining though — I thought I got rid of my personal voice for good. That I killed it. But the personal voice can't be killed, as I found out. Now, my voice is back. And it has been back for several years. It is strong, and as loud as it needs to be. My voice is not always easy to vocalize (I still can be painfully shy), but I can verbalize without words in many different ways — by writing or showing an example of my thoughts through my actions. Most importantly — it is mine in the most deeply personal and unique way.