Predestination (part 2)

August 27th, 2023

Predestination can come true and cement the prevalent idea of it — if we allow it. Only if we decide to cut off parts of the totality of free will and let ourselves be like dust in the wind or ripples on the surface of water and be governed by expectancy that comes from acceptance of apathy and futility.

Every one of us comes from a specific background — from high or low social standing, opportunities (or lack thereof) for advancement in a particular timeline of events that brings peace or unrest in our lives, from a variety of educational choices and chances, from different economic life options, from different races and ethnicities and genders and religions — all of which are amplified by our growth in our families and their lifestyles.

It is so easy to just accept what is given to us by pure luck and a geneticist and lucky-sperm lottery of life. Accept and go along with — making the best choice within the limited scope of what is expected and what is required from us. And if someone tries to make a choice for the better, to make a break from the staleness of the expected lifestyle — then it is common to be brought to a level by others who will not stand for going beyond the predestined station in life. Or to be ostracised by others who will stay and wallow in self-pity and blame of others and the desperate clinging to the conservatism of lifestyles.

I know I was like that. I knew what was my place and my station in life and I knew better than trying to stand out and try to break away from what was given and expected of me. I truly believe it, so I didn't even try to better myself. I was predestined to be pathetic and meek and quiet and invisible — and predestined to kill the pain of knowing it by giving in to an addiction (which was predestined to me as well by generations upon generations of ancestors who were alcoholics).

Not anymore.

I don't even really know when and how exactly it happened, but I did regain my belief in true free will and I made full use of it. And I plan to continue doing just that.