Public display of (potential) infidelity

August 30th

This guy came over to my place of work this week, a senior vice president of something for the company, who just got the job and is touring our production facilities around the world. Nice job if you can get it. And the guy is tall, with a dark complexion, well-build, handsome and has a full head of hair — enough to have a man-bun. Has a short beard, wears very flattering clothes, and just oozes coolness. He is in his early forties but looks not a day over thirty. He gets noticed easily. And as I noticed, that leads to a lot of swooning.

And swooning leads to comments from my co-workers around me. Comments lead to looking for opportunities to talk to him, to spend time with him, and to go to lunch when he goes to the cafeteria. And that leads to more comments about his looks, how well he is built, and his overall handsomeness. And the loud comments I heard all day today lead to talk about how great it would be to have sex with him, how nice it would be to have an adventure of a quick physical relationship. All of those comments were made by already married co-workers, mind you. I get the point that some people just have IT. It of course means being noticed for attractiveness and handsomeness. And I get that those comments by my co-workers were made mostly in jest — as the banter between people stuck in a boring and unfulfilling job.

But I wonder.

And it bothered me when it was happening. The commenters were loud and direct, with no ambiguity there at all. And those comments — even if made in jest — opened well-hidden memories from my deep past. Memories about times when I was hurt by the infidelity of those I was in a relationship with. From my side, even when I was at the lowest of low in my life, I never cheated. I never looked for opportunities and when opportunities presented themselves — I always walked away from them. And my partners several times, given an opportunity, went for it. And every single time I found out, it hurt like hell. I guess cheating seems easy, seems like something people just do. And I didn’t cheat, maybe I missed on something? And I couldn't understand the reasons behind cheating and I still cannot.

Even if all those comments were made in jest, even from people I just work with and don’t particularly care about — hearing it bothered me and seemed completely out of place and plainly wrong. And all that from just talking, nothing more than that. It just seemed so natural and plain topic to some making those comments. I guess that is another thing I cannot understand about the ways society and groups of people behave. The ease of talking about actions that would hurt others, and potentially destroy a family or a relationship.

And I am not particularly interested in understanding that.