Small talk
April 11th, 2024
Headache. A pounding, terrible, and debilitating headache. Now, only after a couple of hours when it started, it is slowly letting go. And I can pinpoint a moment (and a reason) for it — it was exactly the moment I went into my hairdresser to get my hair cut. She was talking to a previous client. And she hadn't stopped talking for about 45 minutes when I was there. I could feel the onset of pain in my temples and even some nausea. I tried to put on a brave face, but the headache was getting worse minute by minute. I was silent, I maybe said ten words at most — it was only her and the constant one-way conversation about everything and nothing at the same time. There was nothing I could have done about it — I was already there and I really needed to get my hair cut. Walking out would be considered making a scene, and I am too polite and meek for that…
So I suffered in silence with a barrage of words coming my way without any break. I felt like suffocating and could only think about getting everything done with my hair and getting out. And the surprise is that she is not always like that. On the contrary, she is usually well aware of the customer and talks or keeps quiet depending on the person (and that person’s mood) sitting in front of her. Not today. I think something might have happened and she just needed an outlet, and for some people, on some occasions, talking out loud and talking constantly might be beneficial. It might mute some unwelcome thoughts or cover real emotions. I don't know… But it was out of character for her, and it made me not just uncomfortable, but it quite caused me pain. I don't like it and I don't understand it, but I think I have no choice but to accept it. My headache is passing and will be forgotten in a few hours. I guess I need an outlet for myself to get out of what is bothering me. I do it differently — sitting in silence in front of the screen and writing words in quiet. Whatever works, I guess.
