November 5th

I had it. For several years Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit dominated how I spend my free time. Not just that, it was the only way to actually make myself feel better through likes and comments. And what is even worst — my self-esteem and my self-worth were based on those likes. And I knew how to play the public — how to be sentimental or happy on Facebook, how to be controversial on Twitter, how to appear smart and interesting on Reddit. All for the moment of smug satisfaction that random people made an effort to move a finger and click like under something I posted. Something that appeared cool but in reality was just a fake — in no way did it represent the real me.

I thought it would be difficult to quit it, I mean the social media was how I would identify myself and it gave me a smidgen of relief from the drudgery of my life. It was the easiest way to waste several hours a day without trying to do something productive. But in reality — it was super easy, barely an inconvenience. After I deactivated my accounts, not even once I have had an urge to go back. I realized that I don’t particularly care for other people and their opinions. I become clear that I don’t need any validation from other people. That validation and feeling of self-worth mean anything if it comes from me and my actions only.

And that is why it saddens me when I see people, especially those close to me who waste their lives searching for validation on social media. My sister is like that — for likes and comments, she is actually capable of lying and inconveniencing others. Sometimes I don’t really know if she is still able to distinguish between real life and this fake, pretentious, and pretended life on Facebook and Instagram. I tried to talk to her but it was pointless — my voice and reason are no match for imaginary likes