Swaying

March 12th, 2023

Looking up, as I do occasionally, I noticed that the trees in my forest got taller. Or maybe I got shorter? No, if anything — I got taller myself, in spirit at least. So it is the trees that got taller than I did since the last time I paid attention to this matter. They reach closer to the sky than I remember and that makes them more vulnerable to winds to sway them from side to side. I guess that is a common ailment for anybody and anything that reaches up higher and higher instead of staying close to the ground. Reaching up can be dangerous because everybody and everything then wants to cut you down to an ordinary size for daring to stand out. But for trees, even the customary natural event as the wind can be dangerous. Unless of course the said trees are well grounded with a robust root system and a support group around them that parries direct wind blows. Then reaching up can be done with relative safety and with expectations for survival.

That seems very relatable to me and my life. I always wanted to reach higher and higher with each day, and for several years now I not only want to as in wishful thinking and painful frustration, but I actually do it. I feel like I growing sturdy in spirit and better as a human and more reliable to others and myself and fuller in my resolve and closer to achieving the goal. And I don't really know what is my goal, I guess that is the reason for happiness in the determination of the ongoing work to one day find out. You know — scratch that, I know what my goal is — to be a good and decent person and to be true to myself and my emotions and feelings. That goal is vague enough for me to work on for the rest of my life on it — and I am very content with this knowledge. But let's go back to swaying for a moment — I do feel like those trees in the video above, I still can sway from one side to the other in my emotions and my mind. But I return to my expected position no matter what. I feel well-grounded but I still would rather take a blow directly than lessen its impact by relying on others around me — that will require more work from me. Swaying is a part of nature and life in general, point is to be prepared for it.