Thalassophobia
April 28th, 2024
What lurks below? That is my question and possibly a fear I have. It might not be completely in tune with a clinical description of thalassophobia, but it might be close to that. I don't feel fear or any apprehension about vast and deep bodies of water. Or the ones swiftly moving or falling from the height. What I feel is rather awe towards this phenomenon. On the other hand, I was never on a ship (or a boat) crossing the sea or the ocean. If that ever happens, then my emotions might be more on the fear side. But what I already know — is that even on shallow and well-known bodies of water I feel strange anxiety. When I am out in open water in a kayak, I feel in control and quite safe. Of course, I never take unnecessary risks or try to do too much once kayaking in the water. I am careful not to be caught out and surprised by the weather. Even stronger than normal winds will make me think twice before making a decision, and that decision is always to stay on the shore. I am conscious of danger and will minimize any possible risks. My anxiety comes from the fact of unknownness and strangeness of what is below the surface. I usually don't think about it, since it is hard to see toward the bottom of the bodies of water I kayak on. The water is clean but not clear and I like that. But there are moments when I am closer to the shore and close to the water vegetation when something deep down there catches my eye. Or sometimes I feel and hear something scrapping the bottom of my kayak. Then I quickly became aware of my surroundings, tightening my grip on a paddle and looking around for a possible safe spot — just to be prepared in my mind for something that might happen. There is a strange and alien world down there that will never be a part of my knowledge and experience.
Some curiosity remains though. Well, in reality, there is a lot of curiosity about what is there below the surface of the water, but I will do nothing about it (scuba diving is out of the question) and I will only let my imagination fill out the gaps of my lack of knowledge on that subject.
