The art of resting

February 16th, 2023

There are moments (few and far in between) when a light bulb just goes off in my head with an idea of such simplicity and importance at the same time, that it actually scares me for how long I was ignorant and had no idea (or had a wrong idea) about something absolutely fundamental in living my life and necessary for my well-being.

That happened today when I realized that I don't know how to rest. I simply don't know how to give my body and my mind an escape from all I do every day and at all waking hours. I don't allow myself proper rest in any proper way. That might seem ridiculous at first since resting is a naturally given human thing and a well-rehearsed longing for most of us and every single person knows how to get it (but usually has no time for it).

On the surface that might seem ridiculous, but it isn't. Looking at myself I see I get about seven hours of sleep a night (longer on weekends), I get naps when I can get one, after work on the job, or work for pleasure in the garden, or exercising, or hiking, or traveling I spend most of my time at home in a comfortable chair with my feet up and a book in my hand.

That is plenty of rest! Isn’t it? I take care not to get too exhausted, or when I do get too tired, I allow myself time for respite and to get energy again. And I think problems lie with the word allow… That is a completely wrong approach. I judiciously allow myself rest and relaxation. Even when not really doing something, just reading for example — my mind doesn't rest, it is still working and in many cases in overdrive. My resting is not preventive, it is reactive to tiredness that already happened. Now, that seems so obvious, and the change of this behavior is so easy that I cannot believe that it took me so long and I needed to develop a deep mind and body tiredness first to realize that. Now I know what to do.