“There is always a solution”

November 18th, 2022

“There is always a solution, you just need to ask for help to find it” — a coworker told me this afternoon. At first, I wanted to agree, but after some thought, I am not so sure. Is it? Is it really that simple? And the word she had used for “solution” was — “wyjscie”, which in Polish means just that — a solution, but also means an exit — and I know she meant the former, but the latter sounded so ominous in the light of the subject of our discussion.

We were talking, distraught and numb after finding out that our coworker from another department have committed suicide. I didn't know him personally but had numerous interactions with him over the years. I always found him helpful, always ready with a joke, and a well-competent professional. And he was always there, I would cross paths with him daily, usually with just a “hi” and a nod. That won’t happen anymore.

Apparently, he couldn't find a solution to his problems. I have no knowledge of any more details, nor do I want them. All I know is that he made an ultimate choice. That one from there is no coming back and no second chance. I feel sad and sorry at the same time now. His death doesn't affect me personally but it still feels bitterly unnecessary. And if I shouldn't be affected personally by it, why do I feel like I am? And quite a lot at that.