Tone-deaf

December 10th

A rant today — what to do about people who are tone-deaf to mood and emotions and (dis)comfort of others? People who are not aware of their surroundings and how their actions are perceived by others. Few examples from today:

• A woman loudly is telling everybody within earshot about another prize that their kid won at school, all the while at the desk nearby a guy put his head down. Everybody here knows about his autistic kid and all the problems and struggles (including the kid being violent against others and himself) that he and his wife are facing.
• A guy showing photos of a new car he just bought — a very nice, very good and very, very expensive car. Several people in the department have well-known problems with their old and unreliable cars that are constantly in the car shop for yet more expensive repairs just to have a running piece of junk. They weren’t really happy about this guy showing off.
• Another guy telling everybody about where he and his family are going on vacations during Christmas break — a top-notch, luxurious, and exclusive ski resort in Switzerland. And almost everyone here is struggling financially in one way or the other. Even having no financial struggles — very few middle-class people I know would be able to afford a ski trip like that.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being proud of their children or being financially successful to afford a supercar or stay in an opulent ski lodge in the Alps. But — don’t flaunt it, don’t force others to pretend how happy there are for you. Enjoy your success and happiness (real or pretended) without looking and needing validation from other people — that actually hurts others.