Tribalism

June 15th, 2023

I am in between now, not really a part of an old tribe already and not a part of a new one yet. That puts a damper on my sociability, but honestly — I was never a very social person. And I still am not. But I am acutely aware of being on the outside and that feels quite unpleasant.

Could it be that I am afraid of independence and freedom? People huddle together in groups and tribes and hordes to be saved from the terrible freedom of choice, or freedom of not making any choice. No one wants to be left alone in the dark as a separate entity.

We who live in society, which means the vast majority of all living people — have to be aware that all societies were not constructed for the sake of preserving moral and ethical life, but rather as a reactionary construct against angst about death and fear of separation and individuality.

Every group, every tribe, every horde is, by design, a religious entity. Each one has its unspoken rules and dogmas that are beyond questioning under the threat of expulsion. Each cultivates its fictional history and a quest for immortality and history-making, no matter how small the scale of it.

There is a liberation in me, but also pressure. That pressure comes mostly from the ingrained repressions of my views of society and humanity and my place in or out of it. That pressure is made solely by me and has no bearing on any of my true needs and wants.

Except for one — to be noticed and to be liked and to be praised. Universally and wholly at that.