Urban disorder and personal change

December 26th, 2022

I don't accept it. It — being the scenes of disaster and disorder and awful mess shown in the photo above and the other photos below. That is not something from a corrupted, godforsaken country or the aftermath of war action. It is the only way to drive from the main bus station and an adjacent strip mall in a provincial capital with a population of 300,000 people in the XXI century in a country in the European Union. For me, that is completely unacceptable.

And I know — there was a deep freeze, and there were heavy snows, and after that a thaw and then plenty of rain. And there are two separate construction works going on at the basically same place — a roadway is being widened and resurfaced and a new intermodal transport center is being constructed. I fully understand that this is a heavily trafficked area — all the people going to and from the bus station, all the buses using this road, the cars going to the supermarket and there is a very popular gym at the strip mall. Heavy machinery and construction trucks are in the mix as well. Still, completely unacceptable.

What I see here is a complete disregard for any normalcy and tidy structure that needs to be kept — even, or especially where new constructions are taking place. This is a definition of getting something anyhow and just so done and at a painfully mediocre level. This is a willfully not seeing the chaos and disarray and shambles that all the people who need to be in this area have to endure. It is not just an inconvenience — it is not safe, and it is a potential for damage to the property of regular people — their cars or clothes, definitely shoes. Basically, completely unacceptable.

But the negativity I see in all that made me think about something positive. That is something I try to do as often as possible — trying to balance negative emotions with something positive. And that was easy in this particular case. It is about me and my personal change, of course. For many years I was just like that — a terribly mediocre person, who did just enough to slide by without making an effort. A chaotic and messy person who wouldn't take any responsibility or charge of anything in my life. And that has changed. Changed completely and in such a dramatic way that I still surprise myself when I realize that I no longer accept disorder and mediocrity and strive for the best result. Even when that requires hard work and effort, or time — when I need to step back, take a deep breath, and go back to get it done the right way. It is now a natural and expected way of my daily behavior, no more just sliding by and being indifferent. Only order and the right results are acceptable.

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“for they knew what sort of noise it was; they recognize, by now, the footsteps of the Furies”. Enjoying life on the road to recovery. Observing and writing.

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footsteps of the Furies

“for they knew what sort of noise it was; they recognize, by now, the footsteps of the Furies”. Enjoying life on the road to recovery. Observing and writing.