Utopia

February 16th

Utopia has five distinctive features: it is collective, in that it is enjoyed by the community of the faithful; terrestrial, in that it is realized on earth rather than in heaven or in an after-life; imminent, in that it is bound to come soon and suddenly; total, in that it will not just improve life on earth but transform and perfect it; and miraculous, in that its coming is achieved or assisted by divine agency.

John Gray “Black Mass: How Religion Led the World into Crisis”

That means I am a utopist. I didn’t know it before last night I read this passage, but there we go. I know there are things still wrong with me, but being a utopist wasn’t one of those things. Or rather, I wasn’t aware of that definition of that particular part of my mind. But that actually explains a lot about me and my personality and my way of thinking. The best definition I can find of a utopist is an idealistic social reformer. And that describes me very well. There is quiet, respectful, and yet powerful esteem in that phrase. And I would like to be known by that description.

On some level, I would like to be known by that phrase is just because of my vanity and arrogance. That description makes me better than others. Of course, better only in my eyes and my mind. But that is plenty enough for me and my ever-growing ego.

But seriously, I am very attuned to the suffering and injustice of other people (and animals and nature as a whole). Sometimes I feel like I see and notice and experience too much of that suffering myself. Sometimes that suffering of others takes over my thinking and my mind. And obviously, I look to and think about potential solutions. My solutions are always utopian:

• They have to encompass all humankind and nature.
• There is no any religious shit about justice in the afterlife, it will happen here on Earth.
• It has to happen now — if it wasn’t for my lack of superpowers, it would take only a few weeks.
• The transformation will be a complete and fundamental change in the way of living.
• And yes — as I mentioned, that can only be achieved with absolute superpowers.

And all that is just a utopia, wishful thinking and imagining that could make a good book or a movie. It is not possible to create a living condition for humanity where is no conflict, without wholesale slaughter and destruction of undesirables and stubborn and down-right stupid members of the public. So, if comprehensive betterment of people and society is not possible — what is actually left for us to do? What can I do — because acceptance of the fact that suffering and inequity was, is, and will be a part of human nature is beyond my comprehension. There is no satisfactory answer for that for me. Yet. I am still hanging to my idealism and belief in overall goodness, even though every new day brings more and more signs pointing otherwise. I guess what I can do is to try to do something good and positive just in my community. And I think a lot of that can be accomplished just by not hurting others and not piling on their misery. I think I can do more of understanding and less of jumping to the conclusion. And judging — I need to finally stop judging other people because even my internal escapist utopia cannot endure much more from it.