Warm vs. warmth

April 15th, 2023

One is a rare and welcomed feeling — there are times when I feel a physical sensation of warmth inside me. That is connected to the feeling of bliss and a complete lack of worries and care. Usually, there is also a feeling of remembering something from the past or a projection of something expected in the future and I have a total awareness and perception of the singularity of the moment when this happens. I love those moments and cherish them savoring every second of this event.

The other happens more often and is usually connected to changing or inclement weather. Or my cockiness (that can also be called an ingrained stupidity endemic to some males) — the moment the calendar officially shows the spring and the moment the outside temperature raises a little, I ditch my hat and gloves and fleece jacket and layers in general for spring clothing and no layers. And I do that without any regard for the actuality of the weather conditions and without any care for rain and wind and still almost freezing temperatures.

Spring is here, damn it! And I won’t behave otherwise!

And then the other feeling starts — a feverish warm feeling with all the expected symptoms of stifling and coughing and weakening of the body and clouding of the mind. So now my weekend is planned around staying in bed and getting rest. Which in itself might not be a bad idea and might be something I need.