What do I have to say?

May 2nd, 2024

What exactly do I have to say? What exactly do I have to share with others? What exactly is it that I want to get out of my mind and out of incorporeal thoughts to compose in words? What exact words do I want to say or rather write, even if there is no one out there to whom those words are to be addressed? Of course, it would be nice if somebody would read my words, but that is not a requirement for me to get those words out. Do I truly know what I want to say?

I believe so.

I have so many ideas and thoughts and streams of consciousness and musing and reflections. Sometimes they are quite well put together — an idea comes from an initial observation and then the said idea becomes a reflection and then the said reflection becomes a commentary. Most of the time it doesn't work that nicely though. Most of the time there are snippets of something deeper and interesting enveloped in shreds of boring and mundane. I can still work with that, I can still embellish the intermittent thoughts with enough words and phrases and cliches to make it seem better than it is in reality. I already have the skills to weave the narrative and create the story and adjust emotions enough to make it work.

But still, what exactly is what I want to write and share?

Here I am unsure. With so many ideas, which would be a proper one to use in a longer written form? It would be easy if I knew what exactly I want. Also, am I patient enough to stay with only a few ideas in the long run? I would have to be systematic and organized. That would be against my recent attempts to be spontaneous. No matter that — I want to try something different.